Tiltopolis
Friday, July 28, 2006
I'm in trouble, folks. Last night, I lost $100 on one hand, the first hand I played for the night. Tiltopolis, population: me.
Things have been rough behind the scenes lately. I've had a covert issue with someone close to me (not wifey Kim) and its been effecting my state of mind. Last night, I could barely eat dinner as I mentally stewed the situation over. I returned home and decided not to play so that I can avoid tilting away the dough. Time passed, I spoke to my little brother, who put things into perspective, and I thought I was through it. I decided to play a little, but only a little. I fire up Poker.com and enter a .50/1 NL room. The first hand, I'm given K2 in late position (posting the blind). The flop was KJ2, and I bet the pot ($5, 5 limpers). I got two callers. The turn was a Ten, and it was checked to me. I bet $15. One player called, and the other re-raised $39. I thought I was behind, but decided not to be paranoid. I called. The player in first position folded. The river was a blank. My opponent put me all-in and I called. He had turned the straight.
I knew it too. Bottom-line, I fucked myself. I was too anxious to play and I couldn't let the reality of the situation sink in.
Poker is an amazing game because at times it directly correlates with you mood. Feeling good? Win some money, why don't you. Feeling like crap? Donate it to the table. In this way, it is a lot like alcohol or drugs. It's almost an amplifier of your emotions, because when after that hand, what was an undercurrent of unrest became a tidal wave of misery. Not only could I mull over the situation outside of poker, but I could now berate myself for throwing away $100 when I knew better.
This morning, I tried to leave it all behind. I knew what I did. I have a live game tonight hosted by the ladies at I Had Outs. It's a $30 Re...re...re...rebuy. There I said it. I'm going to be budgeted, and my attitude/mood has already turned a corner. So, wish me luck. Tonight we see if my live game has degenerated as bad as my online game. If it has, I might just need an intervention.
posted by Jordan @ 9:13 AM,
11 Comments:
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At 1:17 PM,
Jordan said...
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I had posted the BB and flopped 2-pair. I was in late position, so I wasn't going to wait 8 hands to start playing. Otherwise, I'd NEVER limp with K2. I might be dumb, but I'm not stupid.
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At 1:43 PM,
SirFWALGMan said...
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Dude. I forgive you. Now lets kiss and make up. I do not want you to lose sleep because we are having issues.
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At 1:59 PM,
Jordan said...
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No Woffle! I will not let you continue to use me and treat me like dirt! What happened to us?! We use to talk all night and you would hold me. I miss us, but I'm not going back.
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At 2:09 PM,
Littleacornman said...
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Don't be too hard on yourself Jordan.If it was checked to you with only the button to act post flop, your pot size bet was fine though if four players had checked to me first I'd maybe bet a little more than the pot to try and take it there and then as it's a very vunerable 2 pair.
Tough when your new to the table and only have the lobby stats to judge how tight/loose the table is though.
I assume the hand winner had Q9 and not AQ ( usually raise pf) which makes it harder to put him on it.
Sure he had implied odds but you'd just sat down so he had no clue ( other than you not waiting to post bb) that you'd pay him off if he hit.
Your $15 bet on the turn was fine too because if he hadn't hit he would have had to fold there.
When he reraised that bet maybe the alarm bells should have rung louder ( trips or better 2 pair probably my first thoughts rather than the straight) but you know that anyway!
All just imo.
Time to forget it and get back to your best game.... -
At 8:01 PM,
Iakaris aka I.A.K. said...
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Although the discussion of the hand is interesting, it sounds like you're really talking about the unspoken psychological drivers that override better instincts.
Posting the BB alone often tells me what kind of mood I'm starting off in; ie. if I can't wait three hands to play, I begin to suspect I may be in for a rough time of it. I am currently obsessed with trying to understand and master the impatience/masochism that has me do things I KNOW will result in a stacking.
I wish you better luck managing it than I am having. -
At 10:54 AM,
Jordan said...
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Gentlemen:
The thing about this hand was not necessarily that I played it poorly given my hand and the action (although I stil think I did play it poorly given those things). The problem was that I disregarded what my instincts were telling me and I did it because I was in a bad mood. Pros often say that a major factor in one's game is what is going on in a players' life. Did you just get into a fight with your girlfriend? Are you having trouble at work? These are the things that you take to the table. They affect your judgment. Oh, and they are just examples. Everything is fine at work and luckily wifey Kim has no idea about my girlfriend.
I think my new goal will be to only play when I am read to play optimal poker. The blow to my bankroll and ego will help this goal along. -
At 6:31 PM,
GaryC said...
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Tiltopolis, population: me.
Welcome to my own personal hell, brother. I like the idea of only playing in the right frame of mind. Yeah, that's the ticket.
Hang in there, bro, this too shall pass.
G -
At 10:30 AM,
Dave said...
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Sometimes you just have to let it go. Ya, it's hard to do. Look yourself in the mirror, give yourself the finger and tell yourself - "Don't do that again!". Now get back in there and play YOUR game.
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At 10:39 PM,
Eric a.k.a. Bone Daddy said...
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Hey, I love the though about poker flowing with your karma; I could not agree more and my bankroll moves up and down with my mood.
And you can't trick your mood either, I tried to convince myself all weekend that I was upbeat, and the cards would come. Instead, deep down, I was in a bad state of mind and the bad results followed.
Now I must go convince my wife to give me sex, it is the only thing that can save my bankroll...Honey, it is like a sale, if you want to save money, put out. yeah..that will work. -
At 3:09 PM,
MrGoss said...
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Afraid I'm gonna have to steal your Tiltopolis line. What a great line it is though.........
MG -
At 6:14 PM,
Jordan said...
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Steal away, Mr. Gross, but feel free to site back to the source. Either way, I consider it a compliment!
