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This Poker is Killing Me Inside

I've spent the day working away. I guess coming in on Saturday for 4 hours proved to be a good idea. Today I am less than overwhelmed and have been able to finish some back burner projects in record time.

But my brain is on poker. And poker is killing me inside.

The $50 loss on 1/2 at Bodog sure does suck. I just don't get what I'm doing wrong. I guess I could pay attention more, but how the hell are players openning 8 tables and raking in the dough. It's probably a little bit of variance too, but I just can't get over it lately. I need to spend more time playing, but I just don't have that time to give.

Regardless, when you are not having good results, does it make sense to push forward? Does it make sense to try to play MORE than you are currently playing?

I'm trying to even out the variance and give myself more experience to draw upon, but it just isn't happening.

Another thing. WeakPlayer recently was playing a $33 satellite SNG. I told him that I couldn't play in those because it is above my bankroll. He was shocked. This is nothing new. SoxLover also is shocked that my bankroll doesn't allow jaunts to the $250 live MTT at his underground club. All of this, and I can't seem to get above $300 online lately. I intentionally don't even check anymore amongst my various sites, because I'm scared of what I might find.

Which brings me to another question. I made some dough recently through referrals, but I withdrew almost all of it. I needed this money for various household expenses, and I don't want to let my bankroll grow through referrals. I want to earn it damnit. But next month...well, the referral dough is likely going to stay online. I need that dough online now more than at home. Sad, indeed. (And if I get 2 referrals on PSO, I can get a $100 gift card to Party Poker...pretty please...). By the time I get that, it'll probably be doubling my bankroll.

One last thought. I am a lawyer in NYC. I must make a lot of money! I must have money coming out of my ass, for which I will buy lots of glamorous things like a honeymoon in Tahiti or a cool apartment downtown. Yeah, well, not so. I make good scratch, but it goes fast in this expensive city. One of my pay checks each month goes to rent. The other goes to expenses and paying off student loand and credit cards. Wifey Kim and I consequently live off of her pay checks and dip into the money that should be going to credit cards and such when needed. Tahiti didn't come cheap and my wedding and rent don't either. I guess I'm saying this: if you assume I have dough, you are wrong. I just want to get that out so I don't have to explain why I'm sweating playing a $20 SNG online.

There it is. Another bitch fest post. Man I need some poker.

posted by Jordan @ 5:00 PM,

9 Comments:

At 6:32 PM, Anonymous willwonka said...

Yo J,

As far as I know, you still aren't using Poker Tracker.. even though you may have it via PSO. I think first and foremost, this is the a great tool to look back over your poker sessions to find out any leaks, if any. It also records all of the other players.

Obviously, some of the sites that you play aren't supported such as BoDog and Titan; but many are...

I've played poker with you enough to know that you know what you are doing; but sometimes get carried away whether it be to patience, tilt, cold cards, over thinking or whatever. PT will tell you these things. There is nothing more humbling when you thought you were playing good; but go review your session to see that you were out of control... or vice versa, that you were playing good.. but the cards weren't with you. Also, I think you are good at reading people in live games; but maybe not so good in online games (none of us are). Again, PT will tell you exactly how many hands everybody at your table is seeing.. how aggressive they are both preflop and post flop... do they like to steal blinds or defend blinds? Yes, you can take notes on all these guys; but why do it when PT does it all for you.

So what am I trying to say... help yourself out by letting PT help you... you'll be amazed... I think.

 
At 7:15 PM, Anonymous Karol said...

I can't decide if a bankroll is a good idea or not. It seems like it's too easy to keep dipping back into it. When did you start keeping one?

 
At 7:46 PM, Anonymous kaellinn18 said...

When I hit my bad streaks I found that pushing it only made it worse. It usually helps me to take a day or two off, let my head cool, and focus on another hobby. When I come back, I'm fresh of mind, and that seems to do the trick.

 
At 7:57 AM, Anonymous TripJax said...

I'm in the same boat J. Manager in a huge financial services firm. Make good money right? Yeah, but wifey not working and two kids and mortgage and the next think you know we are scraping by. Just like you, one paycheck is gone for mortgage...the other gone for expenses. Fun fun!

Keep that referral stuff online when you can. And quit worrying about what is profit and wahat is a bonus. Just use a tracking system to track your profits and then no matter what is in the roll (bonus or profit) you'll know where you stand. I use pokerdominator.com. Check it out...

 
At 9:23 AM, Anonymous DaveW said...

I hear you on being a professional in NYC and just getting by. I spent over 2 years working in the city and couldn't belive how little I had to show for it in my bank account at the end of the day. And it's not like we were living the high life or anything (other than the champaign of beers in the frige!). On the other hand when I moved to Chicago, I couldn't get over how cheap everything was. Hell, we could actually buy a place, which was almost unheard of among our peers in NYC. New York is a great place, but man you pay for it...

 
At 9:27 AM, Anonymous Jordan from HighOnPoker said...

Good advice, Wonk. Coincidentally, I set up Tracker this weekend, and I plan on using it a lot more than I had in the past. I appreciate the criticism too. Now that I am tracking my play with PT, I look forward to figuring out how I can use it to fix my game. Poker Tracker Guide, here I come.

Karol, a bankroll is a great thing, even if you do dip into it (you shouldn't). At least this way, you are dipping into your bankroll for living expenses instead of having your poker dip into your living expenses. Of course, I don't keep a live bankroll, just an online one. I also keep track of wins and losses live, but not online.

With that in mind, I will check out pokerdominator. Thanks Trip.

Kaellinn is probably right too. Slow down rather than push forward. I plan on taking tonight off. I'll definitely be playing by Friday though...for the DADIII HUC!

 
At 10:03 AM, Anonymous kaellinn18 said...

Speaking of the DADI, I will not be able to make it. :-( Our ski trip is this weekend. I'll see you for the next one!

 
At 1:55 PM, Anonymous David said...

You make first year lawyer in NYC money (because all the firms pay about the same), you make $10K month. Your monthlys probably shake out like this:

+ $10000 paychecks
- $4500 taxes
- $2500 decent apartment in the 90s
- $1500 accumulated student loan payments
- $ 500 subway and taxi rides
- $ 300 lunches and dinners spent at your desk
- $ 500 credit cards
-----------
$ 200 net-> grinding @ $1/$2 and the occasional trip to a poker club

This is maybe a little stark. I have a bunch of friends who went to BU Law, and this is about the same situation that they found themselves in, working in Beantown and out in SF. Takes a while to get to The Long Run, even in lawyering.

 
At 5:20 PM, Anonymous drizztdj said...

I used to 6 table for bonuses... the secret is zero fancy play, zero reads, just mind-numbing ABC poker.

Unless you have PokerAce or Gametime + and know the player's VPIP percentage then "plays" could be made w/o paying attention to the table.

 

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