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Democrats v. Republicans - The Battle Continues!

*** WARNING: NO POKER CONTENT ***

Democrats
: "Barack Obama's DNC speech was amazing! He was persuasive, eloquent and tough when he needed to be. John McCain's RNC speech was dull and themeless. It was just more of the same old speech from the same old Republican party that drove this nation into the ground over the last eight years. The right-wing nuts at Fox News should be ashamed of themselves for their blind support of John McCain!"

Republicans: "John McCain has the experience and leadership abilities to protect our nation from foreign threats and help the economy! Barack Obama's DNC speech was all rhetoric with no substance. Change? What change? It's just the same old liberal bullshit. The left-wing media like CNN is too busy kissing Obama's ass to give fair and balanced reporting!"

Let those two argue for several months, both with their minds made up and their heels in the ground. Pull up a chair. If you agree with either side, just block the other one out and sing your Hallelujah or Amen. Agree until your heart's content or alternatively until you heart is boiling in its own juices.

But it's all a dog and pony show. I tried watching some of the McCain speech last night. Boring. I won't even put forth a definitive political view here other than to say that I am bored of it all. Ok, Barack will ruin our nation. Fine, McCain is the anti-christ. Whatever. One of those fuckers are going to end up running our nation, and amazingly all of the discourse on the Internet, TV, radio, newspapers, conventions, whatever, is just theatre. Thousands show up at the DNC to jerk off to Obama. Thousands show up at the RNC to beat their meat to McCain. Good for you both, but it's still just masturbation.

As a kid, when I started to develop my love for debate, I would discuss religion and politics as a perfect jumping off point to deep discussions. My father always warned, "You don't discuss religion and politics." At the time, I thought he was warning me that those topics were private and taboo; that by discussing them, I was rude and invading others' privacy. Now I realize the truth. It's all very futile. 90% of you have already made up your mind about who you are (or, are not) voting for. The other 10% probably have made up their minds too, but like the label of being independent. They sure as hell must be leaning one way or another by this point.

Meanwhile, as I typed this, the Republican and Democrat from above have gone on to discuss the vice presidential nominees. My guess is that the Republican will praise Palin and smash Biden. Meanwhile, the Democrat will praise Biden and smash Palin. Let's check:

Democrat: "Sarah Palin should worry more about her fucked up family and less about running for VP. This is the same woman who raised taxes just to build a $15M hockey rink for her kids in Alaska...Isn't there ice already in Alaska? As for Biden, he's the perfect choice for VP. He's experienced and will help national security and the economy."

Republican: "That Joe Biden is a hack, a racist and a plagiarist. Great pick, fucking Democrats. As for Palin, she's a god damn hero. She fought corruption, terrorism (not one Al Queda attack has occurred in Alaska since she was elected into office!), and will lower gas prices by allowing mining for oil!"

And as they prattle on, I wonder to myself, why the fuck do I care? The president is elected via the electoral process. My one vote in New York, a state that will undoubtedly vote for the Democrats, will not change a damn thing. And I'm a freaking independent! Maybe the rhetoric from both sides is designed to mobilize otherwise dormant voting blocks or convince en masse the independents, but on a personal level, it doesn't mean shit to me. Republicans will continue to wack off to their candidate, Democrats will continue to fellate theirs and the whole masturbatory political process continues.

I finally learned why my father didn't like to discuss politics. It's a fucking waste of time and energy. In the end, you just end up looking like a tool, preaching your version of the Bible to your own congregation and baiting trolls from the other side to throw some vitrol around. And the other side is doing the same thing too.

So, have at it, political masturbators. Just do me a favor and clean up after yourselves when you are done. I'm going for a beer. Let me know when this whole class president thing is done.

Until next time, make mine poker!

posted by Jordan @ 9:17 AM,

8 Comments:

At 11:46 AM, Blogger Memphis MOJO said...

They need to change the constitution to add a third choice to the the ballot for president:

Send these people back and get me somebody else.

 
At 12:11 PM, Anonymous Gunslinger said...

From now on, whenever anyone asks me who I'm voting for or how I feel about politics, I'm just going to send them a link to this post.

 
At 12:24 PM, Blogger Julius_Goat said...

You may be the press secretary in my administration, if you like.

Goat/Haribo 08, Incompetunce You Can Beleive In

 
At 12:55 PM, Blogger . said...

yeah fuck you, politics.

 
At 1:56 PM, Blogger Astin said...

But they're so much fun to discuss and what else gets people as riled up?

The dog and pony show is always for the undecided and the lazy. The hard-right economic republicans will always vote for the GOP. The bleeding hearts will always vote for the Dems. It's all that middle ground they're fighting for.

And that's a big problem with a 2-party system... Nader or not.

 
At 2:06 PM, Blogger Joseph Inman said...

Hallelujah brother.

 
At 5:00 PM, Blogger TripJax said...

I tivo'd both conventions, but had not had a chance to read them until I read your post.

After reading your post I rushed to my tv to get started. I gotta tell ya, after fast-forwarding through both, from start to finish, I was very disappointed I did not see even one masturbation scene in the whole thing.

Lemon!

I even paid real close attention during the Palin scenes, only fast-forwarding x2 instead of my normal x4. Still, nothing.

These upcoming debates better be MasterDebates or I'm gonna start losing faith in my esteemed High On Poker pr0n source.

 
At 12:38 PM, Blogger Matt Sokol said...

I agree with you to some extent, here. I know a few of my friends that just constantly bash McCain for the same sort of stuff Obama's done, and I'm like, hey, this kinda happens on both sides... I'm a democrat too, but it gets to a point where nobody's listening to anybody else about anything and it's just a bunch of guys sitting in a room with their hands over their ears going LALALALA.

I think it's important to vote for whoever you support, though. If that means a random third party candidate who'll never actually win, then good! Do that! It takes a little support before it can steamroll into something more. Nothing will change if the people who aren't satisfied just ignore the whole thing because of that.

 

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