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Mail from the Future!!

Dear Mom:

Thank you for sending the cookies. They looked really nice, and Butchie loved them. I'm really starting to get the hang of things around here. They wake us up at 6:30 every morning. We do laundry most of the day. I met a couple of guys at work. They have some really cool tattoos. During most meals, we play a game of Hold'em using cigarettes. I'm won 1 and 1/2 cartons last week in a dinner mtt, but gave it all back in the cash game against some donkey Neo Nazi.

Tell wifey Kim I love her, and to take all my money from the online sites that still exist. She's been aiding and abetting by sitting by while I play, so she's going to need that money to get out of the country. I hear Britain is nice, and they have licensed online sites. Sounds like paradise.

Anyway, its time to shower, so I best be going!



posted by Jordan @ 11:46 PM,


At 9:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We know the reason why the United States govt. is shutting down online poker is because they aren't seeing any tax revenue from it.

That being said, do you think there's any chance of a legit poker site opening up inside the US and going through the proper channels for taxes, etc. ?

I don't, but it's worth a shot in the dark. I'm close enough to a casino where I can play, but it's going to suck. I love being able to just open up some PLO tables and go house on people.

Maybe the bannination of online poker will motivate me to contribute more to society?

Nah. I'll just buy an XBox 360 and have a new obsession.

At 10:16 AM, Blogger Wolverine Fan said...

"Well, Senator we can overlook you e-mailing vulgar suggestions to that minor but this on line poker site you have on your computer is something we can't tolerate and we expect you to cover it up before the dems (or repubs, take your pick) see it and we can't cover for you anymore." lectures Dennis Hastert.

At 10:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, rampant pedophilia is tolerated in the United States (see: Congress, Catholicism) but we just cannot have our country turning into a 21st century Wild West.

Think of the children!

... As you're plowing them from behind, Sentaor.

Hypocrisy? Naaaah.

At 11:19 AM, Blogger Jordan said...

By the way, I suppose I should mention that I don't expect there to be much change at all in Online Poker availability. I'm sticking by my original opinion: this is just another illegal music sharing thing, but to a lesser extent. After all, there are already laws making it illegal to send money via wire for gambling purposes. From my understanding, this law merely states that it specifically applies to poker. There is no way to enforce it. So, some sites from the UK may ditch US customers, but the offshore sites will continue to thrive. Silly Congress, Poker is for Kids!

At 11:36 AM, Blogger Riverrun said...

lol...that was great...come up to Canada, Lawyers are always welcome!!

At 12:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't think so, Jordan. The two biggest sites are already talking about banning US players and freezing all accounts indefinitely.

At 12:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Second that... move to Canada.

At 12:48 PM, Blogger Dave said...

Enjoy that shower bud - lol. nh.

The only upside to all this is that once the waters calm down and the poker shakeout is all said and done, someone will eventually step up and introduce regulatory legislation and it will pass. It may not be this year, but it WILL have to pass sooner or later.

Once it does, there will be a whole slew of new sites to sign up for and get new bonuses on. We've merely hit a speed trap and got pulled over. But we're going to get right back on the road again.

At 2:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why will regulatory legislature have to pass? As long as the US government doesn't receive tax proceeds, nothing will change.

Try working with some island in the Bahamas or India to get that in place. Impossible.

What makes you think the government would work so hard to create this legislature? There's absolutely nothing pointing to that.

The only thing we can hope for is that, slowly, every state begins to legalize gambling and build casinos when they realize how much money there is to be made now that they've shut down the online industry.

At 4:39 PM, Blogger C.L. Russo said...

I agree. And, I think Party Poker is going to try to screw us:

"PartyGaming, the Gibraltar-based owner of the world's biggest online poker business, and 888 Holdings, also based in Gibraltar, have said they will suspend their business with US residents once the act was passed."

What do I get when I log on Party:

"Don't forget about your 20% reload bonus! Reload today!"

Yeah right. I'm playing 5/10 tonight,hopefully make a killing and cashing out.

At 10:26 PM, Blogger Heavy Critters said...

That was hilarious, yo.

I don't think the sky is falling. THAT SAID, I did just withdraw all of my money except $10 on Full Tilt, Stars, and Noble.

This way, I can still play some poker, try to build up a little bankroll at each site, and if it gets suspended...oh well, it was $30, instead of hundreds.


At 8:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wouldn't recommend playing any tournaments.


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