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Random Assortment

"Judge, we do not want to have to wait until January for another meeting because we have an elderly plaintiff." I tried my best to convey to the prehistoric judge our need for a quick resolution. In truth, I knew little about the case. The judge knew I knew little about the case. Opposing counsel knew that I knew little about the case. But when the bossman has a family emergency and someone needs to show up at Court by 9:30am, the guy who arrives earliest usually gets that honor.

"He's elderly, you say? How old is he?" Finally, a question I knew the answer to. "He is in his seventies, your honor."

"His seventies!? You think that is elderly?" An attorney's tools are the English language. Words, whether written or spoken, must be chosen carefully. I already made an error. The judge was well over 80.

"Well, not elderly your honor. I am just trying to explain the need for a swift resolution."

"How old are you?" This one was out of left field, but at least it was an easy question...until he answered it for me, "Thirty-four?" I am twenty-five (twenty-six in December). I'm balding, sure. And I'm wearing a suit. But thirty-four? Shit, man. At least I'm not a female. Otherwise he would be stepping on dangerous territory.

Think quick. "Close, your honor. Actually, I am thirty-two." A little white lie wouldn't hurt anyone. Opposing counsel lets out a chuckle/surprised shock. Either he can see through the B.S. and can tell I'm a green kid, or he is finally fed up with the Judge's nonsense. The judge turns to him. "Let me guess, sixty?" "Actually, fifty-nine your honor."

This was my morning. Playing dress-up with the big boys. In the end, nothing significant got done, but I played my role. To let them know my actual age would've been to announce that (a) my bossman couldn't be bothered to send someone with experience, and (b) I'd be easy pickins to steamroll over. This game is about two things. One I've already told you about, words. The other is perception. So maybe my bald palatte is a benefit. I sure as hell will use whatever I got.

Ok, down to the reason you came by here. Poker.

This weekend was pretty blah. I played a lot. Maybe too much. I'm grinding out my Paradise bonus and should be done by mid to end of the week. Then I focus on Royal Vegas for my Vegas Poker Pro bonus. I suggest that you all click on the link and check it out. I plan on playing on Royal Vegas for Little Acorn Man's weekly UK v. US blogger SNGs (assuming that this past weekend wasn't an anomoly). I missed the SNG this weekend for my favorite burritos. Yep, there are few things that will get between me and poker. Baby Bo's burritos are one of them.

So, while I'm at Royal Vegas, I might as well grind my way into another $50 gift certificate to Best Buy in my quest to get a TV that doesn't run on leaded gas. If you are kind enough, you can even let me know that you are signing up at VPP and thereby allow me to possibly get an additional bonus. But hell, even if you don't take a look at VPP and PokerSourceOnline (referral code: HighOnPoker). Because, if you aren't using these services, you are wasting an opportunity. And waste-not, want-not.

I placed in an MTT on Titan, raking in $.10 in profit. I also played in a freeroll via PSO (another reason to sign up), during which I employed the All-in with crap cards strategy meant to knock me out early or get lucky and dominate. After all for 200+ players, they were giving out cruises to the top 2. I don't like them odds, so might as well play to lose. At least I succeeded in that goal. Otherwise, I grinded some more on Paradise's 5-card draw. When I'm done there, I plan on leaving $20 or so at Paradise to get my 5-card draw fixes here and there. I think I have a great grasp on the game, which isn't terribly hard considering the lack of NLHE nuances, and my 20 or so years of experience with 5-card draw specifically.

It doesn't look like I'll be playing live this week either, sadly. Mon and Tues are NJ continuing legal education classes (the last ones, that god!). Wed is wifey Kim and my one month wedding anniversary and we are using it as an excuse to go to Ruth Chris, an expensive steakhouse. It helps that we bought a gift certificate for someone and never gave it to them. So, it's almost like free, even though we paid for it months ago. Thursday is a prime poker night, but I need to get my shit in check. I think I might be overdoing it, and I need to spend more time with wifey Kim, for my sake mostly. She has a calming influence on me. Even though we live together, in our cell phone-Internet world, it's hard to actually find time to connect with someone face-to-face. Friday is Friday. If I could, I'd be at Genoa at their $40, 1 rebuy, tournament. But realistically, wifey Kim and I will be painting the town red, so I can't complain. Well, I could, but who would listen?

I'm working on a follow up to "Message in a Bottle," my story that was published in Dr. Pauly's e-zine, Truckin'. The new story takes place on a city bus, and is tentatively called, "Heroes." But the idea is constantly changing in my mind, and it may take a turn to something that would make "Heroes" only tangential. Regardless, keep a look out, because once I'm done, you'll see it here, and criticism is expected.

I want you to bluff me as hard as you can.

posted by Jordan @ 12:19 PM,


At 1:49 PM, Blogger Dave said...

Bet that would have been funny to watch in court. Major foobar versus the old judge. Bet you were just wishing you could have said something like "Ya dude - you're so freaking old - why the heck do you still work here?". LOL.

I'm in my upper 40's and I still feel like I have the mind of a 25 year old. It's not the wrapper, but what's inside that counts.

At 6:02 PM, Blogger DuggleBogey said...

I don't know that there wasn't some poker in the first half of your ran a pretty good bluff at that Judge and your opposing counsel...It's harder to bluff multiple opponents, but it sounds like you did fine.

At 11:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well im still alive after the SNG tonight. False alarm on halloween go figure. My roommate thought I was nuts staying. Oh well, im just glad I got to see the hammer dropped. Did Dugglebogey happen to quote you in his blog today, I hope not!!!!!


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