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Counting Flowers on the Wall...

...that don't bother me at all. Playing solitaire till dawn with a deck of 51. Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo. Now don't tell me, I've nothing to do.

If you don't know what that quote is from, its lyrics to the song "Flowers On The Wall" by The Statler Brothers. I know the song from the Pulp Fiction soundtrack, one of the best soundtracks ever put together (but not the best, which is probably the soundtrack to Trainspotting).

The song embodies my late afternoon. After a very prolific and efficient morning, I'm counting flowers on the wall. With about 45 minutes left in the work day, this is a bad thing. Mostly, its bad because I have to bill for my time, as a lawyer. So, sitting on my hands for the next 45 minutes would be sweet if I were a government employee or had some regular gig. Instead, while I have to make up my hours so that I can fulfill my annual requirement of 2000 billed hours. Boo hoo hoo. At least it is the Friday before a long weekend, which is probably why things have slowed down (I am waiting on about 5 calls and 10 documents to be sent to me).

This weekend will be an eventful one. Fiance Kim and I have a bat mitzvah on Saturday night and a wedding on Monday night. As a result, we are missing work on Tuesday. Not too shabby. As for tonight, fiance Kim wanted to stay in and pack. That girl loves her options so packing for two major events and several days in between should be quite a sight. In the meanwhile, I, her loyal man, will be waiting at the rail. Or more accurately, I will be playing online poker to keep myself from going stir crazy. Tomorrow morning, fiance Kim heads out early for girlie stuff, so I can sleep late and stroll back to Long Island (NYC suburbs) whenever I damn well please. More time for poker? Don't mind if I do! Of course, Saturday night will be filled with small talk and "free" food and drink (is it really free when I am hemorraging gift money?). Sunday should be laid back, so maybe I can get into the cardroom tournament in Long Island. I'll have to speak to my connection, a dealer at the cardroom. As I've placed 4th of 153 or so this week, I'm feeling good about my tournament play. Monday will be shot, poker-wise, but by then, I'm sure I would have had played enough to hold me over.

I read today that Scott Fischman won two braceletes back to back in the $1500 NLHE and $2000 HORSE tournaments at the WSOP. Why didn't I know this? I've always felt that he looks like a prick, but I guess I have to give credit where it is due. Maybe I'll open an account with the Fishtank poker room...HA!! Why would anyone play on a site like that when there are more popular sites? Then again, I am playing on Noble Poker...he in glass houses...

While I am rambling, something really got my goat yesterday. I'm watching Britney and Kevin: Chaotic on MTV. Why, you ask? Well, because my on demand service isn't working (SCREW YOU TIME WARNER) and my computer was uber-slow (SCREW YOU TIME WARNER) while it downloaded the Noble software. Fiance Kim was in the bedroom on the phone and using the laptop, so this was my only entertainment option.

So I'm watching Britney's show and I'm thinking, WHY? Why would she volunteer and produce a show about how deluded and desperate she is? The show is her own home videos showing her courting Kevin Federline. The problem is, she is clearly throwing herself at him, and he consistently rejected her. I can't blame him, because in the occasions in which a girl has thrown herself at me (I can count it on one hand) it's usually a turn-off. Its sort of like the old pre-kid-toucher Woody Allen line, "I don't want to be in any club that would have me as a member." Come to think of it, that may have been a Marx brothers line. But I digress.

Here I am watching Britney show the world how pathetic she is. And then it gets worse. She starts asking everyone she can what their favorite sex position is. And then she goes on to talk about what celebrity she would most like to bang. I'm thinking, damn, get that girl a man, stat! She came off looking like a ditzy, attention-desperate whore. Now, I like ditzy, attention-loving whores as much as the next guy, but come on...she's PREGNANT. Which means she will have a kid within a year. Does she want this video to be available to baby Spears-Federline?! Discretion please.

Okay, that had nothing to do with poker, and everything to do with having too much time on my hands. Sorry readers. I'm out!

posted by Jordan @ 4:36 PM,


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