Black Weekend
Monday, January 08, 2007
Yeah. How to put it? Hmmm...In the vast lexicon of poker blog topics, this is probably one of the trickiest to start. Even thinking about writing it makes my stomach turn. But this is the reality that we live in, and we at HoP (we being me) strive to give you unfiltered content. So, let's just get it out there.
For the year, I am down over $600 already. There, that wasn't so bad. I mean, sometimes you just play 1/2 NL with a bunch of bloggers and play shitty. Sometimes, you try to take a decent seemingly orphaned pot with a flush draw and inside straight draw and someone from Pokerworks re-raises you with top pair and you sorta have to call because you are getting great odds. Sometimes, you don't follow your own advice and play inebriated. And sometimes, you just don't give a fudge because you think, "I already gave up on online poker, so this is just tooling around with friends." I suppose, sometimes you might even rationalize your loss. Hey, it happens.
There might also be times that you have not much to do on a weekend, so you decide to play some Razz and TD on Stars. You might also prefer shorthanded Razz tables, and since the shorthanded tables seem to be at 5/10, you decide to play 5/10. After all, you've played 8/16 at Full Tilt, and even lost over $300 once, just to make a huge comeback. Sometimes you lose the $300 and then realize that the big comeback isn't coming.
Then you look at your collective online bankroll and you realize two things: (1) After withdrawals made at the end of 2006, your online bankroll is down to pitiful level. (2) I guess you fulfilled your own prophecy and have ended your online poker run.
This was a lesson in bankroll management for anyone paying attention, and, I suppose, in the thought that you can't just write off online poker like its just a silly game and then play it and expect to win. Like I've always said, you need to go into a game not only expecting to win, but sure of the fact that you will win and are the best. This might not apply to everyone, but it applies to me. At the end of my Razz session (after various bad beats, but also tilted play) I was practically begging to lose my last $25. That, my friends, is no way to play poker, regardless of the setting.
Ironically, Weak Player, who was at the cash game table, asked me if I'd mind if he put me on his list for AlCantHang's Busto Pool. I told him to go ahead, since it was a sucker bet. I haven't gone busto since I was depositing $20/month on Golden Palace in 2004, playing $5 SNGs until I was down to $1 in my account...and then switching to $.25 and $.10 tournaments.
Well, Weak, I'm not quite busto yet, so quit licking your chops.
There, I said it. Thank god I have a tournament with Karol and Dawngenerate of I Had Outs scheduled for the upcoming weekend, followed by a mixed cash game at SIF's place in one of the next two weekends. I have a lot of work to do.
This ends our pitiful announcement. I hope I don't get too many pity comments or flames. I'm not looking for either. But when I was done with my self-destructive behavior, I thought to myself, "Now what about the blog?" I contemplated laying low for a couple of days, but then I realized that I might as well just spill it. It is, after all, what I'm going through right now, and its nothing new to the world of poker.
Online poker is on life support, and will only be commenced in cases of extreme boredom or blogger tournaments. Regardless, there will be no reloads. Meanwhile, I look forward to continuing my poker journey in the 3-D world.
Until next time, make mine poker!
posted by Jordan @ 9:43 AM,
17 Comments:
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At 10:36 AM,
L'artiste said...
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Believe me, that is nothing to be ashamed of. I donked off 700$ on the first three days of January. Losing is also a part of Poker and anyone who denies or disagrees with this is either a moron or a lier. No worries, you’ll get your money back.
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At 10:49 AM,
said...
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Don't sweat it Jordan! If it gets to bad play with Waffles. Between the two of you one of you will come out a winner. ;)
I have no doubt you will make that back. You have 11+ months!! -
At 10:57 AM,
Pokerwolf said...
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Unfortunately, this is what it takes to learn (or re-learn) some lessons. No worries, bro. Come back and play your game. You'll do fine.
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At 11:29 AM,
said...
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any interest in coming to the tourny with me thursday would love the company
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At 12:25 PM,
MrGoss said...
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Interesting positive comments so far. How about this: You were an idiot. You know better. You paid the price.......three lashes with a wet noodle.
Now get back in there and take your chips back.
MG -
At 12:30 PM,
Jordan said...
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Ebs, I'm definitely in for that game. Thanks for the reminder. I have to send you an email to confirm.
Thanks everyone for your comments. I will win that money back, but hopefully not online. I just don't have what it takes to play at the level I want to play at online. That is the crux of the matter. If I was playing lower stakes, these losses would be nothing, but I want to play higher ones. Its a bad habit to break, so I'm breaking it by only playing with what I have left online. My live bankroll is fine, and I look forward to building it. -
At 12:55 PM,
said...
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No offense, buddy, but I already put you my Blogger Dead Pool list because of your tendency to play above your roll. And I got dibs, cause I put my list in before Weak did!
But you're not first on my list, I reserved that for myself after losing $600 of my dwindling roll on the very first day of the year! But I'm building back, and I'm sure you will too. Good luck! -
At 1:54 PM,
Jordan said...
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Sorry, Falstaff, but its still a sucker bet. After all, even when I lose big, I kept a little in reserve, and I plan on playing it real safe (if at all) from here on out. Unless, of course, the prize pool for Al's pool is high enough, in which case, you and I should talk, Fal.
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At 2:39 PM,
said...
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And you've lost this year playing live also, right Jordan? (Albiet not much, from what I've read on this blog.)
The competition at a $1-$2 NL table online is tougher than the competition at a $1-$2 NL table live -- I'm fairly sure that's a correct assumption.
Anyway, it's good to see that you decided to post about how poker has been going this year, regardless of your bad results thus far. Being objective about your play will only improve your game and allow you to spot any weaknesses you may or may not have. -
At 2:42 PM,
said...
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In a strange way, this makesme feel better about my own December because I know you're a good player.
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At 3:08 PM,
said...
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Also, Jordan, you may be better suited to mixed games which I think you've already said. (I'm just mentioning that because I only compared skill levels online and live in NL hold'em.)
I'm sure you'll turn it around and have a good year for poker. -
At 3:49 PM,
Jordan said...
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Actually guys, I just want to make something clear. Even though I did lose a lot of money, it wasn't because I played poorly. I played for 30 minutes, tops in the 1/2 NL game where I was under bankrolled and put myself in a position where I had to call with draws (and odds). I then played Razz and was cold-decked and got second-best hands. I'm not down on my play. I'm down on the results and the fact that the losses constitute the majority of my online money. That said, my online money is not my entire bankroll and most of it was already withdrawn.
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At 3:55 PM,
Jordan said...
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And I acknowledge the obvious bankroll issues. I just don't want ppl to think that I'm down on my game. I am not.
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At 8:41 PM,
said...
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sif... i think those numbers are probably about right on.
unfortunately, it's quite a bit of money. -
At 11:48 PM,
Dawn Summers said...
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hahahahaha...yeah jordan, i am not worried about you at all -- i've only seen you lose once! And as for 600 in january...i refer you to my horrid December!
Hey, and I finally posted about last week's mixed games at sox's, if you want to relive your pants wetting incident. :) -
At 7:55 AM,
Wolverine Fan said...
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I think you have to be careful about bringing your on-line tendencies to your Live game. May be a result of some of your losses.
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At 9:02 AM,
Jordan said...
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Wolv, I don't think its an issue of transferability between my live and online game tendencies. If anything, I need to bring my live game tendencies to online, but I find that I play the two varieties (live and online) very distinctly from each other.
Thanks for all of the comments.
