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Drunk Bloggin'

Okay. Tonight, my little brother, Clam David, came by with a few of his friends. As it turns out, a "few" equals roughly a dozen. After having drinks with the crew and their assorted female companions, I finally ushered them out around midnight. With this group, if you don't help them move, they will sit around all night. I'm sure this isn't an uncommon plight.

We ended up at a bar/club called Providence. The only thing about it that warranted the club label was the massive dance floor in the middle of the bar area. There was a good amount of rump-shaking, but seeing as I am retired from the dating scene, I stuck with the bar.

My new drink of choice is Grey Goose on the rocks with a twist of lime. Positives are that it doesn't look like a girly, fruity drink, and it's all alcohol, baby. The negatives is, I look like I'm drinking water. I'm admittedly folically challenged (read: bald), so I felt like a narc surrounded by 21 year olds, drinking my clear liquid while avoiding any dancing. Thank god for fiance Kim. I've never been so happy to be retired in my life. There is definitely something to be said about the security of a committed relationship. It helps that she's a piece of ass, caring, and intelligent too.

I found two things rather annoying/interesting tonight. First, I was in the lobby area of the bar/club/restaurant. I saw that the first floor had a roped off restaurant. The lobby was a wide hallway with couches. It was cooler (temperature) than downstairs, so at one point me and Clam David decided to enjoy the comfort of the lobby. Then a bouncer, wearing an impractical suit, came by and said, "Upstairs or downstairs. You have to get out of the hallway." Now I didn't notice any upstairs. The downstairs was the bar/club area, and the hallway presumably was the area I was in. It isn't a good idea to put air conditioning and comfortable lounge couches in a "hallway" where you don't want people to congregate, but that's just my layman's opinion. Being the curios guy that I am, I asked the bartender, "So, what's the upstairs?" His response was, "The restaurant...and it's closed." To which I replied, "Then it's really only downstairs, isn't it?" No response was received, nor needed. This is one of those situations when you are dealing with someone with a tad more power than intelligence. Just smile and nod, smile and nod.

The second thing that irked me was witnessed in my cab ride home. I'm heading home when I see two kids who were 10 years old TOPS (probably 8) roller blading down the street. I then see their sister, assumedly, of about 12 years old TOPS (probably 10) riding her bike. Sure enough, there was an adult with them. Regardless, what the fuck are a bunch of kids doing skating around at 2AM!! Parenting in this country sucks. It's a sad world when two 8 year olds are skating around town while I'm heading home to go shluffy. Shluffy is baby talk for sleep, in case that isn't a universal term.

So, there you have it. My rants and raves on poor parenting and poor bouncing. Lord help us all.

posted by Jordan @ 2:25 AM,

2 Comments:

At 9:11 PM, Blogger TripJax said...

How did he get the name Clam David?

I hate bouncers who think they are the shit. Dude you get $40 a night - probably 2 nights a week - so enough with the holier than thou I own this bar attitude.

Better to be follicly challenged than fallicly challenged...I say...

 
At 2:41 PM, Blogger HighOnPoker said...

The name Clam David came from a line in a porn movie. I never saw the movie, but a friend of a friend used to repeat some atrocious porn dialogue. Two lines were, "I'll make you famous someday...in Japan." The other one was something along the lines of, "Watch you mouth, Clam." The use of clam like "buddy" or what have you is so hilarious that it became a thing at college. When fiance Kim (then, cute chick I wanted to get with Kim) met my little bro David (who had just started at my college), fiance Kim and her friends started to call him Clam David. I don't know why, but it stuck. No one really uses it anymore (and no one did then besides fiance Kim and her friends), but its still a great name.

 

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