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Satellite of Love

The world of poker tournament satellites always left me a tad confused. Part of me felt that if you could not afford the buy-in, you shouldn't satellite into the event, since you had to win a tournament just to play in another tournament...and winning two tournaments is much harder than winning just one in the first place. That, and the fact that if you had to satellite in, you were, by definition, playing above your roll. On the other hand, if you are not good enough to win a single-table satellite, or even a super satellite, then you probably are playing above your skill level in the higher buy-in tournament.

It's really the chicken or the egg question, which I eventually chose to ignore altogether by avoiding satellites generally.

The one consistent exception to that general rule were the token tournaments, which I somehow justified with the fact that I could use them for a variety of games.

And then yesterday happened. I got home from work at my usual hour, but found myself alone, since wifey Kim was off with a friend on her never-ending quest for yet another dress for this summer's anti-semetic wedding. So, I did what any other self-respecting degenerate would do, fired up every poker client on my laptop and checked out the various tournaments running.

One of my favorite tournaments is the $15 buy-in Token Frenzy, paying out $75 tokens. The joy of the game is its simplicity, thanks to its flat (and wide) payout. It starts nightly at 9:45pm EST, but I was hoping that a similar $6 buy-in Token Frenzy for $26 tokens ran earlier in the night.

Instead, I stumbled upon a satellite to the nightly 50/50, a $50+5 buy-in tournament with a $50,000 guaranteed prize pool. Full Tilt recently instituted T$. Basically, if you win a satellite into an event, you can unregister and get the buy-in back at T$ that can be used in any denomination to but into any other tournament or SNG. Since I like SNGs and tournaments, I decided that the 50/50 Satellite was really the same as any other token satellite. I could use the spoils of war anywhere, so I signed up and paid my $10 or so buy-in.

As I perused the other tournaments, I noticed two other 50/50 satellites running about 20 minutes later. The buy in for both was around $15, so the payouts would be even flatter and more numerous, allowing my fold-to-the-money strategy to thrive.

And with that, I three-tabled 50/50 satellites, winning two with ease and busting out when I got a bit overzealous with pocket Tens and then pocket Jacks, letting my big stack crumble, right before my eyes. As Meatloaf says, "Go ahead, Cornelius, you can cry." Although in hindsight, perhaps his quote, "Two out of three ain't bad" is a bit more appropriate.

After those games, I shut down the poker for a bit and watched Rescue Me's last season on DVD. It's fucking amazing, although one new cast member cannot act his way out of a paper bag. This actor, who I will name shortly, stands out like a sore thumb amidst his acting contemporary. I hate to say it too, since I am a fan of his work on his usual show, but everything beyond that show is pure crap. The answer, my friends, is Artie Lang. Dude cannot deliver a line with any credibility. I fear he was hired for stunt casting, but what can you do.

A little while later, after wifey Kim was asleep, I returned to my laptop for a quick $30 SNG, higher than my usual $20 buy-in since it was paid for by the satellite money. I lost, but it felt nice to change up the routine for a bit.

So, my new take on satellites: They still suck. I don't like the idea of winning a tournament merely for the right to play another tournament. If I win, I want cash. But the next best thing to cash is $T, since I can use it instead of cash during my poker play. And for that, a big thumbs up goes out to Full Tilt. I expect to play more sats in the future.

A quick reminder about my Pauly Ham Hands nickname for the nickname contest, which is explained in the last post. The winner gets $11; one entry per person. All you have to do is provide a nickname that is a derivative of Pauly's Ham Hands moniker. Leave your entry in the comments....especially you, Mary. You emailed yours, but I need it up here for it to be considered an "entry" and if I post it and you win, that may seem like shenanigans, which is like bennigans but without the overseasoned fries.

Oh, and while I am too busy to recap my WSOP Prop Bets right now, I will mention a new one that is in the making. If all goes according to plan, Joe (Unimpressed), suggested a $20 three-horse last longer bet for the $50k HORSE event, taking place today at the WSOP. We are still ironing out the details, but so far, I have picked Antonius, Bloch, and Lindgren. He has chosen Ivey and Greenstein, with one pick to go. Wish me luck.

Until next time, make mine poker!

posted by Jordan @ 11:16 AM,


At 2:32 PM, Blogger lj said...

i always liked pervy paulie (aka pp), why does he need a new nickname?

At 2:37 PM, Blogger Jordan said...

He doesn't need a new nickname. I need a new nickname to call him. It's a subtle difference.

And for what its worth, Pauly has never been pervy with me, which means one of two things: he either is a gentlemen or doesn't know a sexy thing when he sees it. Sizzle!


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