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Tales from the CourtSide

Yesterday, before leaving the office, I got some interesting news. "Jordan, can you come in here?" My boss and team leader were both waiting for me in the bossman's office. "Yes?" "You are covering the R______ case tomorrow. You'll need to get X, Y, and Z together. It's a pre-trial settlement conference, but it won't go to trial tomorrow. Just know the case, explain the insurance information, and the judge will give us a trial date. Don't have the date be between June 3 and June 13th." "You've got the right man for the job!" Yep, I really said that.

As often happens, no matter how much you prep, things always happen that are outside of the expected parameters. In this case, our opposing counsel and I sat in the court room awaiting our turn to see the judge. My opponent was a heavy-set attorney who liked to tell stories of some of his odder cases. Most notable was the case about the mother who sued a sperm bank for trying to destroy her son's sperm after her son passed away. Pleasant.

When we were finally called, opposing counsel and I had a good rapport going. We were both expecting little or nothing to happen, foregoing progress for a new, later court appearance. During the interval, my opponent would be working on finding his client some insurance coverage. Word to the wise: if you are going to own two large buildings on which there will be some construction, get some insurance. If you don't, expect to mortgage the property after my firm whoops your ass in a ladder-fall litigation.

As usual, I stepped into the Judge's chambers and politely introduced myself. "So, what has happened since the last conference?," the Judge asked. My opponent jumped in, "We are trying to get insurance coverage, Your Honor, and we need some more time to resolve this issue." I, meanwhile, readied my speech about how insurance coverage was not going to happen, and that we wanted to go to trial, preferably in mid-to-late June. I didn't get a chance to speak though.

"Okay. I'm sending you out to pick a jury, then." WHAT? Now, I've never picked a jury. That's something that I don't expect to do for, oh, say, 2 years at the very least. Immediately, I'm thinking of my contingency plan. Should I subtely reach into my pocket and begin text messaging someone in my office to give the bossman a heads up? Should I request 24 hours from the judge, and if that fails, 30 minutes at the very least? Would I be faced with choosing from a pool of the client's peers like some Grey's Anatomy psuedo doctor performing a surgery that I've only read about.

As nervous as I was, I didn't show it. My opponent, well into his fifties and seemingly experienced, was in a panic. "Please, Your Honor, just a couple of weeks?" "No, today, counselor." "Please, Your Honor, my wife was just in a car accident!" "No, you should be ready for today." "PLEASE, Your Honor, I don't have any of my witnesses ready." "Look, counselor, you see this sheet?," he held up an otherwise innocuous looking sheet of paper. "According to this, you are my 7th Oldest Case. SEVENTH! And I got this from the Administrative Judge because I need to move these cases out! If I don't move these cases out, they move ME out!"

I did what I do best in these situations. I remained quiet and planned. "PLEASE YOUR HONOR!" Finally, the Judge had enough of the groveling. "Friday, and not a day later." I let out the breath that I had held in during the 4 minutes of begging. Dodged another bullet, I thought to myself. As I left the Court, I called the bossman. "The trial is set for Friday." "Great, good job." "Thanks." I'm the best keep-silent-while-the-action-happens-around-you guy on the block! Go me!

Of course, when I returned to the office, the effect of the Judge's Friday deadline hit me. Hence, I've spent the day readying a case for trial...a case that, up until yesterday, I had never seen before in my life. Thems the breaks.

Poker, huh? Ugly night yesterday. I lost $50 playing 2/4 limit, and then $11 playing an PLO8 SNG with TripJax. I told Trip and GCox that I'd be back in 20 minutes, never to return. Wifey Kim was sick, and I wanted to spend some time with her. I did, however, lurk back online to win back $20 in some NL tables. Not too bad.

I'm probably 95% done with my PSO PokerShare bonus. After I'm done, I plan on removing almost all of my money from that site. I did the math. It took me 500 points to earn a PSO bonus worth about $90. It'll take 3000 (or an additional 2500 points) to earn PokerShare's $300 bonus. Do the pot odds, and you'll see that it is not worth it.

I never received my cut of the rake from Share. If you know how this works, please share, because I'm clueless. I think I have to play for three months first, with play in each of the three months. So, I'll leave a little bit of dough for their juicy, but tiny MTTs (with garaunteed tourneys creating overlays on the weekends) and so that I can play once in the next two months. Frankly, I've turned $300 into about $550+ there, so it has been a fairly profitable site. But I have to continue my Bonus Whore World Tour, and the next stop is VegasPokerPro, proud sponsor of DADI 6: Pot Limit Hold'em.

I may be losing that Noble banner on the right. I only get referral fees if players use my deposit code (HighPoker), and frankly, I'm starting to realize that while some ads are ok, those that require referals are not in the best interest of me or my readers. Frankly, they shorted me on 4 different players, losing me dough that I deserve, and I may go forward with a no-affiliate advertising policy (barring PSO and VPP, which have always been good to me). Let's hope the folks at Noble who set this up can do right by me. I love the site no matter what. Hell, I just redeposited there for the bonus. If you do decided to sign up, though, use that bonus code HighPoker. Wifey Kim will thank you.

posted by Jordan @ 5:43 PM,


At 7:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man, there's been a bunch of these anonymous comment bots lately. As a former juror, I'd be interested in seeing what sort of questions you'd come up with. Especially if there's a white trash chick in the pool!

Sometimes it is best to keep your mouth shut. Nicely done.

At 7:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The sit around and wait technique executed perfectly. I have tried that but it doesnt work for me. I sit around and hope my presentations get done magically or that my 15 page papers type themselves. Nothing not even a title page...damn my technique must be wrong. I have been sitting on my couch trying to lose all my extra weight, still no luck. WTF!!

At 9:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've said it before, but I love these lawyer(ey) posts...they are a great to mix it up sometimes...


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