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Well, the cat is out of the hamper! The head secretary, office manager and I were talking briefly when it came out that I wouldn't be in the office tomorrow. They asked why and I've decided not to bluff. I told them the truth...AC.

"With wifey Kim?," they asked, minus the "wifey".
"Um, no, with the guys." They were shocked.
"Wha? Let me get this straight. You are newly weds and you are going on vacation without her?"
"Well, it isn't like that. It's just a couple of days."
"And she allows this?"
"She does when I come home with a couple of hundred extra."
"What? You expect to win?"
"I play poker, and you'd be surprised."

Not such a big deal, outting myself to two secretaries (essentially). However, the close proximity to the big boss man may not have been the smartest move. Not 5 minutes later, the Big Man comes into my office.

"So, you are leaving tomorrow?"
"Um, actually tonight. Right from work." I nodded over at my backpack. Degenerate alert! Degenerate alert! Abort conversation!
I foolishly tried to recover. "One of the guys got some free rooms (notice I didn't mention that I had the free room) so..."
"You're not going with Kim?" Is that so weird? I guess so. Damn. This'll be the last trip without her for a long time anyway.
"No, just the guys this time."
From the other room I hear it, "Tell him why she lets you!" Damn!
"I told R______ that I'd be back with a couple of hundred for Kim."
"You plan on winning!?" This idea is apparently incredulous. "What do you play?"
Here we go. If I'm going to out myself, I better put on the best face possible. "I play poker. And I don't mean to brag, but I'm pretty good. At least with poker, you aren't playing against the house. You are playing against another guy at the table, and he can be a terrible player."

And then I heard it:
"I used to play every week with some friends. We play real low stakes, where you lose a hundred at most. One night I won $350 and I came home to tell my wife. She yelled at me, 'You don't take $350 from your friends!'"
I smiled and chuckled.

I'm outted. Fuck! Nothing to do but ride the wave...

AC. T-Minus 45 minutes.

posted by Jordan @ 5:05 PM,


At 9:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wait for Part II when they find...err you tell them about the blog!!

At 9:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

BEST boss ever!!!

I hope they dont find the Blog as Kipper

At 10:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guarantee your boss is gonna want to get a game going now...

At 10:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Only reason I don't take $350 from my friends is they don't have $350 to give :). I think, however, that check-raising my wife last week was not my smartest poker move.

At 12:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Run, fucker, run! Win da money and pray they don't find out about the blog. Poker may be a sport for degenerates, but I've heard that blogs are gay. Watch your step...

At 12:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is no turning back now.

There was no way around not letting everyone know I played poker when I won a WPT aruba trip a couple of years ago. A guy that works for one of our clients still calls me "the gambler."

Good luck explaining to the ones that don't get it, that you can make money playing poker.

At 4:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Taking a weekend with the boys is not weird or strange. If I (we) didn't go with our friends once in a while we'd drive each other totally nuts. I've been to Vegas 3 times and she's been once (her second trip is in April) and we've never been together. Not only that but we've discussed it and determined if we went together we'd hate it. She'd want to see all the shows and go out to eat and I'd want to spend 20 hours a day in the poker room.

At 11:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As long as you don't mind her taking girl trips it is perfectly fine to have separate trips. It is a sign of trust. Enjoy your trip!

At 8:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Jordan, of course it's fine to take separate trips, in particular when one of you is going to play poker for a couple of days straight! I mean, it's not like you're going to some spa resort for 3 days and your wife is staying home is it?

And nice work on letting your boss know about fight club. When I was in a law firm I was "that associate who goes to Vegas 8 times a year". And it was just fine, I didn't care what other people thought as long as I was doing my day job. And back then I didn't even have the excuse that I was playing poker and not against the house. Back then it was more like "Oh I have a system, whenever a 7 comes, I automatically kick up my pass line bet...."

At 2:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Falstaff, you check-raised your wife?! I salute you! How long did it take your bruises to disappear?


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