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The Mystery of the Missing Rake
Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Today, I will be reviewing the Hardy Boys book, "The Hardy Boys and the Mystery of the Missing Rake." At first, I expected a book about the Hardy Boys' misadventures while searching for Old Farmer Joe's rake that went missing on his duck farm. But I was happily surprised to find that the Hardy Boys were actually trying to figure out a very different mystery. Here is an excerpt:

"Frank Hardy typed away on his laptop. His eyes were transfixed on the glowing screen when his brother, Joe, came over. 'Frank,' Joe said, 'you've been playing that Noble Poker for hours!'

"'I know," replied Frank, "but its not what you think, Joe. I'm searching for clues.' Frank raised with his A8 suited, knowing full well that the player across the virtual table would call. The players on Noble always call.

"Joe had a quizzical look on his face. 'Clues?,' asked Joe, 'Clues for what?'

"'The rake, of course.' Frank had a look of concentration on his face, as he tried to tune out Joe's whiny voice. Frank's ipod was in the car. He'd have to answer his brother's questions. As Joe scanned the screen and settled upon the pot, his face lit up. 'The rake! Noble isn't taking a rake!," the shocked Joe cried out.

"Frank looked over with a look of exasperation mixed with understanding. 'I know,' said Frank, 'It's been like this for days. My crown points aren't accumulating, so I'm not earning my bonus. That was my first hint. Then when I emailed old Mr. Crowley at the corner Noble Poker shoppe, he told me that my crown points weren't accumulating because my stakes were too low and were not earning a rake.'

"'That doesn't make sense.' Joe was indignant. 'I was playing just a week ago at the same limits and they were taking a rake.'

"'I know,' Frank clicked fold. 29o was not his idea of playable hand. 'When I realized that they weren't raking, I didn't complain though. I'd rather not earn a bonus at this rate.'

"'Frank,' Joe had a look in his eyes that showed he really needed to talk seriously, "I think you should get some help. I've contacted Gam Anon, you know Gambler's Anonymous. I think maybe you should speak to someone.'

"Frank stood up. He finally realized that he had a problem. And that problem was his brother. Two swift blows to Joe's head with the keyboard, and Joe was finally quiet. Frank took out the boys' sleeping bags and quickly went about wrapping up Joe's lifeless corpse. 'If I get this done in under an hour, I can still play that freeroll,' Frank thought as he sopped up the bloody brain pieces."

There you have it. I give the book one thumb up. I'd give it two, but that would involve taking my right hand off of the mouse...and I don't do that for no one.

posted by Jordan @ 8:58 AM,

6 Comments:

At 9:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know what.. i don't even have a title for you anymore.. you have completely surpassed "obsessive" .. if you think of one.. let me know. By the way, fine writing there Rut. Very impressive.

-Roose

 
At 10:05 AM, Blogger Jordan said...

I'm glad you think so Roose. I was proud of it myself. Its my Sistine Chapel. I'm going to have to say that the next step from "obsessive" is "Jordantastic". I like the sound of that.

 
At 11:12 AM, Blogger STeelerJosh said...

Laugh Out Loud good. Think Nancy Drew might make an appearance next.

 
At 12:52 PM, Blogger D said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 12:53 PM, Blogger D said...

Pretty funny. It not obessive til the wife/fianacee/girlfriend says it is. Then your in trouble...SteelerJosh perfers books written by Ann Brashares, Judy Bloom or that have Sweet Valley High in the title. I never would have expected him to know about the Hardy boys.

 
At 12:29 PM, Blogger TripJax said...

Absolutely hilarious post.

I figured the same thing out the hard way as well with Noble (though I didn't write a story about it!). I stopped worrying about the bonus release for a while, but recently moved up in my NL game and am now earning crowns again. I've never had time to bonus chase so if I get a few bucks released...cool...if not...whatever.

Again, great post.

 

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