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A Sucker Airborne Every Minute

I just read this today: Airborne Settles Lawsuit for $23.3 Million. I know it isn't poker, per se, but I have seen many a poker blog sing the praises of Airborne.

I was always skeptical about a product. Airborne's original ads explained that Airborne was created by a second-grade teacher, as though that is some sort of argument for its greatness. I suppose the logic goes that a second-grade teacher is surrounded by germs all day long. If she created it and it worked for her, then by golly, it must be a good product.

My logic always worked the other way. Call me old-fashioned, but I like my medicines made by actual doctors and scientists. It's not just my unhealthy love of science (you sexy bitch, you), but my belief that, well, those people are actually educated in areas that are necessary to make an effective medicine. Now, if the second-grade teacher somehow invented a pill that made amazing macaroni necklaces, I'd be all over it. But a second-grade teacher stumbling upon a cure for the common flu? Puh-lease! Bitch can't even teach high school science!

The bottom line is that any pill that advertises itself as a cure for the common cold is bullshit, just like any pill proclaiming hair regrowth or rockhard abs is bullshit. Airborne was little more than a vitamin mixed with alkaseltzer. Drop it in some water, watch it fizz and viola, you are healthy as a person with a cold and extra vitamin C!

Yeah, so that's my public service announcement for today. Tune in next time when we delve into other exciting products like the Roomba robotic vacuum. Not only does the Roomba suck on any area with multiple surfaces, but it also lacks a hose for those late night vacuum sessions (you know what I mean, Woffles).

Until next time, make mine Airborne!

posted by Jordan @ 6:21 PM,


At 5:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would like to read more about poker on your blog.

At 11:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to say tho, I flew from DC to Phoenix with my dad last year. I was sitting next to a sick person the whole flight with my dad on my right. we got to Phoenix and I was extremely paranoid about getting sick on my vacation. So I stopped and got some Airborne. I took it that day but my dad did not. Two days later my dad came down with a cold, but I avoided one the whole trip. NOW, definitely could be a coincidence, but since then i always take airborne when i know i've been around a sick person or i feel something coming on.

At 2:47 PM, Blogger StB said...

I drink booze to prevent myself from getting sick. Works better than any pills or powders.

At 2:00 PM, Blogger bayne_s said...

I will not have you disparage a roomba!

Wife complains I don't help out enough around the house I just hit the handy remote control and vacumm.


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