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Reviews: K-Fed on a Mansion-Sized Plane

I have a trio of reviews for you, spanning from poker to the absurd. Let's get right to it with a review of Mansion Poker, the site that brings you speed poker on Fox Sports Net (I think it's on FSN, but with all of the terrible poker shows around, who can be sure).

Mansion Poker

What Mansion Poker lacks in traffic, it makes up for in its infuriating cashout process. Yes, there is little redeeming about this crappy site. If you are lucky, you can find one or two tables that are not NL ring games. IF you are lucky. Most likely, your only choice will be what stakes of NL ring game you'll be playing for the evening.

The SNGs are always available, if you have 45 minutes to wait for a 6 person SNG to fill up. If that doesn't work, you can enter one of their scheduled tournaments. They run one every hour (or every four hours at certain times which I am sure coincide with Great Britain's overnight hours), but the field may look suspiciously like an SNG, and you may have a much longer wait if you actually care what stakes you play.

Depositing is easy. Withdrawing, not so much. Mansion is one of the few sites that require picture ID before you can withdraw funds. Assholes. If they need a picture ID, why not get it when I'm depositing the funds! At least let me know that it is required. Instead, when I'm fed up with the site, I find out that I have to wait several weeks between my procrastination and the mail in order to get my money. Shame on you, Mansion! Shame indeed.

Oh, and Speed Poker at the Poker Dome can suck my balls. I know two of the blogger bretheren have made it onto the show, and congratulations to her. Of course, if given the opportunity, I would be right there as well. But the show is just plain silly. Part of the fun of poker is the fact that each decision matters, and there is so much information available. 15 seconds is not enough to watch the players think, act, read other players. It's like playing football with only two downs. Mansion, get the fuck out of here!

Snakes on a Plane

It wasn't all crap this weekend. I was happy to have finally convinced someone (anyone!) to see Snakes on a Plane! Bro in law Marc had enough of a sense of humor to join me yesterday afternoon. Here's the best advice I can give: See it in a movie theatre as soon as possible! It's the type of movie where you want to be in a crowded theatre (hence the urgency) because the rowdiness of the audience will just add to the show. It is the first time I was actually glad that some inconsiderate pricks would not shut up one row behind me. Their commentary was mostly crappy attempts to sound witty, but there was someone else to scream OH! when a snake found its intended target. On that note, these were the horniest snakes ever!

K-Fed on the Teen Choice Awards

Finally, K-Fed! I was very disappointed a mere week or two ago when I realized I missed the Miss Teen USA competition, so there was no chance in hell I was missing the Teen Choice Awards. A funny thing about those awards. At the end, before the credits, there is a big disclaimer. Wifey Kim insisted on pausing the DVR. Basically, it states that the finalists are chosen by ballot, and then Fox and some company called Teenosaurus Rox chooses the winner. Very pathetic. It's also probably why the guests who attended were invariably the winners in their categories.

But that's not what I wanted to discuss. Here it is: K-Fed didn't suck! In fact, he was pretty good. He worked the stage, was smart enough to have dancers showcased (that weren't him) so you didn't focus too much on Mr. Spears, and his rap had a definite beat to it. He's no Dr. Dre, and not even an Eminem, but he's no Vanilla Ice either. So, I'm going to go out on a limb and say this: Good luck to you, Mr. Fed. May you continue to not suck into the foreseeable future.

Now, onto some pokery goodness. Fuck the 45 SNG Challenge. That's a bit harsh, but I did end up placing 5th (top 4 spots pay). In the end, though, I had a great time. Thank you, Drewspop.

Poker is back on track. I had a couple of nice evenings, Friday and Saturday, but ended up down $1.75 on Sunday. I look forward to some of the Blogger events this week. I have some thoughts on HU play that I might get to later in the week (or day), but for now, have a great Monday. And in the meanwhile, make mine poker!

posted by Jordan @ 9:37 AM,


At 2:00 PM, Blogger Haley said...

Umm, actually, -two- blogger brethren have made the dome.

At 2:04 PM, Blogger Jordan said...

How silly of me. Of course. I will make the change. Sorry Haley.

At 5:03 PM, Blogger Haley said...


Then again, given how it went, maybe one -is- the correct number.


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