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The Struggle Continues

My bankroll is still under $300, as far as I can tell. I desperately need to do an accounting and figure it all out. Consolidating would be good too. I can't help but feel down on myself and my game when I hear good news from blogger pals like GCox who recently brought his bankroll from life support to $600. It's a stupid thing, and I wish GCox and all other bloggers the best. It's just hard not to compare and wonder what I'm doing wrong.

Sadly, I know what I'm doing wrong. I just have trouble not doing it. My errors are as follows: (1) Playing in a rush, (2) Playing when I'm distracted, (3) Playing under the influence, (4) Playing on tilt after I lose, etc. Yep, etc. Because there are probably 8 more variations I can add.

But enough of the self-loathing. Let's look on the bright side. Last night I sat down for a Full Tilt $10 full table SNG and took 3rd. I was the chipleader with more than 1/2 of all chips when it was down to 3, but some bad hands caught up with me. I also wasn't paying as much attention as I should've when we got down to three. But at least it's a win. I think I may be best off playing one SNG a night. If I win, then maybe I can play another. The key is to limit myself so that each game is more important. By the way, this won't happen. It's easier to find the problem than it is to actually solve it. I guess that's why I'm a gambler.

I did pay attention at the beginning of the tournament, and thanks to that, I was able to make some good reads. I was in the BB with Q8d and UTG limped. He had limped in most hands and had been playing fairly loosely. A player in MP/LP minimum raised, and I called along with the UTG. I knew full-well that he'd call. The flop was 2Q7, rainbow. I checked. UTG bet. MP/LP raised. I pushed all-in. This was early in the tourney, but I felt I had the best hand and I wanted to get my chips. When UTG called, I was not even worried. The other guy folded. UTG showed AKs, so I was ahead and remained ahead. Part of me felt like this was quite the gamble, but I have to remember that I must change my play for each player. Tight is right if I'm not paying attention to the players, but if I am, I have to trust my reads and instinct.

Going back to my self-loathing, I need to make an agreement with myself. It's probably not an agreement you all would make or condone, but you don't get a vote. I agree not to care about my online bankroll. As long as it maintains, I'm happy. Online poker is just not a profit center for me. It may become one, but it is mostly an entertainment venue. When I play live, it's a whole different animal. But for me, something about online poker will always be videogame-ish. Maybe I'm rationalizing, but it'll do for now.

Good news for all VPP members. If you haven't signed up for VPP, you don't like free money and gifts. Turns out that VPP is offering two freerolls coming up. One if on Mon, Feb 6th and the other is on Thurs, Feb 9th. One is $750 and the other is $500. I hope to play both. VPP also openned up a forum, and if you make 25 posts by the end of February, you get entered into another freeroll with $350 in cash, and gifts like an ipod Nano and such. In addition, there are bounties on the administrators, including VPP Dave, who often posts here under the moniker "Dave". Dave played in the Donkeys Always Draw Invitational Special Omalympics, so I look forward to playing with him again. If you are looking to build a bankroll, please consider VPP. You can easily earn the Poker Time or Royal Vegas promos in a matter of days rather than weeks, earning yourself some free swag like poker books/movies, chips, and gift certificates. Meanwhile, you can enter these freerolls and play with yours truly. I know I've been pimping VPP a lot lately, but that is because I am very behind the site and what they can do for players. Its a great service. Check out Poker Source Online too. It's the same concept, mostly, but to me VPP is simpler and easier to earn.

I also look forward to the next DADI event, which will be announced in the next day or two. Rumor has it you should keep your heads up.

That's all for right now. Best of luck to all of you. I'll try to be on tonight to play an SNG (or 2...damn my lack of self control!) Look me up on Yahoo IM if you want to join me. Brodybanky.

posted by Jordan @ 9:21 AM,

6 Comments:

At 10:12 AM, Anonymous Fat Dan said...

is Brodybanky you Yahoo screen name? i am always looking for some more people to add to my poker players list. i have been trying to find the time to play some razz with Al for a while now.

 
At 10:22 AM, Anonymous cmitch said...

I think everyone of us probably have the same problems. Sometimes, it is near impossible to focus on the games.

3) - Playing under the influence can kill a bankroll.
I can't imagine how big my losses would be if I played online back when I was in college. I can just picture myself back then coming home around 3 AM from a night a drinking and deciding it was a good time to play a tourney or take a stab at a bigger cash game.

 
At 10:34 AM, Anonymous Jordan from HighOnPoker said...

Damn I'm slow. Brodybanky is my AIM name. HighOnPokr, without the E, is my Yahoo IM name. I'm always game for Razz.

 
At 1:19 PM, Anonymous iamhoff said...

I hear ya. I just went thru the very same self-realization the other day, and I still fell victim to it during a Tilt SNG last night. Playing distracted will not work. I tried multitabling once, never again. I don't play when the gf is home or awake, I've even cut out the music. Me, the computer, and a glass of water...it seems to work. Of the past four 45 player SNG's I played, I've got 3 ITM finishes, twice in 2nd. The Tilt one last night I got distracted by a phone call and wound up calling a raise for half my stack, when I was going to limp on the blinds. Oops.

My Yahoo IM name is iamhoff, so go ahead and look for me. I'm usually in the multi-table SNG's, and I'm usually on between 7pm and 9pm Pacific time, and then 12 am to 1 am. Never played RAZZ, but I'm willing to try.

 
At 1:44 PM, Anonymous Garthmeister J. said...

Heads up, eh? Veneno will be happy.

 
At 4:16 PM, Anonymous drizztdj said...

Poker gods hate bloggers right now.

 

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