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Spousal Poker

I'm sitting at a CLE right now. That's a Continuing Legal Education class. Every year, I am required to take a certain number of credits to keep my bar membership. As you can probably tell by the fact that I am posting in the middle of the damn course, it's a lot of B.S.

Today is an exciting day. As of today, I've been married for four years. Wow! Four years. One of the oddest parts is the fact that I have been posting here over those whole four years. Sometimes, it amazes me that I still have this blog going.

Let's take a moment to talk about wifey Kim. I am a lucky man. She's just my type: a hot chick with low standards.

But this is a poker blog, so rather than spend a post just gushing over wifey Kim generally, I'd rather talk about her and poker.

When I was on trial recently, the defense counsel was chatting about golf. His wife plays and to him, that's a double-edged sword. On one hand, they get to spend time together. On the other hand, the greens fees are twice as large and if he plays, she plays.

This got me thinking about poker and wifey Kim. Some people have asked whether she plays, and when they find out that she doesn't play, they wonder why. There are a couple of reasons, actually. The first is that I don't think it'd be as fun for me, and the second is that I don't think it would be that fun for her.

First, let's discuss why wifey Kim playing poker is no good for me. Naturally, there is the freedom aspect. Wifey Kim and I are very independent, so she has no qualms with my play. I, in turn, am respectful to her and don't overdo it. So, that's not an issue. But it blows my mind when I think of the possible outcomes if wifey Kim and I played poker together.

Scenario 1: I win and she loses. Ergo, effectively, we break even (assuming similar win/loss size). BUT, it would feel like a loss, because even with my win, we don't reap the benefit of the money. Plus, wifey Kim loses, which would likely disappoint her, and me being the empathetic guy I am would feel bad for her.

Scenario 2: She wins and I lose. Same effect. I feel bummed because I lose. We don't get any financial benefit.

Scenario 3: We both lose. Misery.

Scenario 4: We both win. And then we likely overspend. It's amazing how I used to win $100 and then take wifey Kim out to a $120 dinner and splurge for a $20 cab and then go clothes shopping. I shudder just to think of it. Fortunately, the poker wallet fixed this problem. I keep my poker and living money separate. But bring wifey Kim into the game, and that all changes.

So, financially speaking, it doesn't make sense to teach wifey Kim poker. And entertainment-wise, it also does not make sense, since there are 2 opportunities to lose and three opportunities to be miserable.

The second issue, though, is more important. If this second issue didn't exist, the first wouldn't matter. The second issue is simply this: wifey Kim is not made for poker.

Even though we all strive to be great at poker, I sincerely believe that there are certain personality traits that predispose people to be good or bad at poker. Empathy, something that wifey Kim has in spades, is a good trait to have. For those who need a dictionary right now, empathy simply means the ability to understand another person's feelings. It's what helps me understand when a player is uncomfortable with their bluff or confident in their nuts. But sympathy, the ability to share the feelings of others, is bad. And wifey Kim has that in spades too.

Simply put, she does not have the killer instinct and competitive nature necessary to really thrive at poker. You need to be willing to crush another person's soul if that's what the situation dictates. Wifey Kim is just too nice for that.

So, that's the complete answer. I have not taught Wifey Kim poker because (a) if we played together, our wins/losses would be tied to each other and poker makes a shitty team sport, and (b) wifey Kim cares too much about her fellow human beings to go for the jugular.

Lest this sound like a negative post about wifey Kim, I should add one thing. Wifey Kim is the best non-poker playing spouse that a poker player could have. She has been unfailingly supportive, has stated unasked that she believes I could be a successful professional poker player, would support my decision to do so, and has shown that support by giving me tons of leway to travel to AC and Vegas without her to follow my love of the game.

Wifey Kim, you are the nuts, plain and simple. (And honey, that's a compliment.)

Until next time, make mine wifey Kim!

posted by Jordan @ 11:19 AM,


At 12:58 PM, Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

Congratz man!

At 8:33 PM, Blogger BWoP said...

Happy anniversary!


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