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Mother Nature 1, Environmentalists 0


I hate to turn this into an anti-environmentalist blog, particularly after my recent post on why the corporate Green Movement is really just a way for corporations to save money while insincerely buying goodwill, but it looks like all you bleeding heart tree huggers out there have one less weapon in your arsenal.

Remember all the concern about polar bears suffering due to the melting polar ice caps? Well, it turns out that the polar bears were just fucking with you. As it turns out, polar bears have been feasting on geese and geese eggs, which are now more abundant than they were in the early 1900s.

This draws a nice parallel to two of the cornerstones of High on Poker's anti-environmentalist stance. Mind you, I don't believe in raping mother earth, but I do think that the current environmentalist trend is a farce. My two cornerstones:

1. Mother nature will take care of herself. Let's say we are killing the planet? My guess is that the planet will kill us first, at which point, the planet will live on and prosper, sorta like it did with those gas guzzling dinosaurs. Assuming my belief is true, we need not worry about mother earth, but rather the survival of the human race, which leads us to...

2. Technological advances to save the human race will develop as needed. We fear that in one hundred or one thousand years the tides will have risen. Well, by then, I'd like to think that we will have technological advances that can fix whatever ails us. What form might the technology take, I have no idea. However, technology grows at an exponential pace. Remember, sixty years ago, color television was still a novelty. Now, we have televisions that fit in the palm of your hand (iPod videos, etc.). And that's just pure entertainment. Who is to say that by the time we need to stop the rushing tidal waves, we won't have a solution?

Good job, polar bears. You didn't need any big government bailout or the protection of some scruffy-chinned hippies. And let's be real, which would you rather eat, seal or goose eggs? Exactly.

Until next time, make mine poker!

posted by Jordan @ 5:21 PM,


At 9:10 PM, Blogger Wolfshead said...

Assuming a lot on a study that, right now, contains a lot of could bes and maybes. Who's to say the goose population stays hi if the besars start raiding the nests? Me, I don't worry about saving the earth, as far as I'm concerned we are about as significant as a flea on an elephant's ass when it comes to good old spaceship earth. The earth will survive in some form unless the sun goes nova. However I do think it's not really a good idea to screw up the life support system of a space ship and then hope we can figure out a way to fix it in time.

At 4:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I, for one, bet on science as helping us. I have yet to see how it fundamentally endangers us, even with the H-bomb lurking about. Science has given us more lives than it has taken; we must remember that." - Philip K. Dick

At 10:06 AM, Blogger Katitude said...

Read this: The World Without Us by Alan Weisman. I still say we're totally fucking ourselves over though... the world may survive, but will we?

At 10:25 AM, Blogger Astin said...

Dude! Nothing quite like freshly clubbed baby seal meat. Soooo tender and full of pain and fear-induced adrenaline. Mmmmmmm mmm good! Goose eggs don't compare.

I've been saying "Earth day" is a misnomer for years. Earth will be around long after we're gone, even if it's a floating pile of irradiated garbage, cockroaches, and lawyers.

At 10:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

At 5:11 PM, Blogger Todd said...

My view is that we should feed chopped-up environmentalists to the polar bears.



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