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Poker on TV: Life on the D-List

I was watching Kathy Griffin: Life on the D-List because I saw that she was going to prison. Like some other people, I like shows about prisons, so I decided to give it a go. And then it happened. Or more like he happened, he being Mike "the Mouth" Matusow. So, now I'm live blogging Life on the D-List for all you pokerfiles out there.

11:03am - Kathy mentions that her assistant got her a blind date tonight with a "celebrity poker player". For a second, names race through my head, but then she says it: Mike Matusow. The reason why Mike is a good blind date, according to Kathy: he's straight and his fans are straight, so it'll help Kathy get into the straight demographic. That Kathy's got high standards!

11:04am - Kathy unveils her cleavage-laden outfit. I'm sure Mike won't be staring at her knockers. Kathy's mother hopes Mike is a nice guy. I guess she doesn't know about his jail stint for drug dealing.

11:05 - Mike meets Kathy's mom and admits he doesn't know her 'work'. Smooth, Mike. Smooth. Way to read her body language, poker impressario.

11:06 - As Mike escorts Kathy out of the house, he says loudly to her mother: "Mom, I'm going to take care of her. If she gets out of line (kicking) right where it goes." And with that, we have Mike's first threat of physical violence, made before leaving the house. Mike works quick.

11:06:30 - At the sushi restaurant, Kathy asks if Mike has the typical poker intellect, meaning that he is really smart at math, but an absent minded professor in everything else. Ironically, Mike is probably bad at math AND everything else, so while the question is absurd, the answer is still no. Ironically, Mike doesn't answer the question because (I kid you not) he gets distracted by the shiny silverware. Nothing kills conversation like shiny objects. Kathy: "He emotionally is about four..."

11:07 - Kathy confirms, "He is definitely straight. He looks at my boobs instead of my eyes." My guess is that he's checking for tells. He then burps...twice. Kathy: "I like Mike. He's a pig."

11:07:30 - Mike threatens to "beat her ass" if Kathy doesn't eat the sushi. This is his third or fourth threat of violence, as explained by Kathy, but as she aptly puts it "he might be kidding".

11:08 - They leave the restaurant and are confronted by paparazzi. "Mike was a little bit inappropriate when he saw my level of fame, which is three degrees higher than his." That would make celebrity poker players, the G List, except for top guys like Hellmuth and Brunson. I guess they'd be the F List. I'm not sure which list name I prefer.

11:08:30 - Date wrap up by Kathy: "I probably wouldn't go out with him again because I want to live."

So, there you go. Mike did a decent job of making poker players appear to be super degenerates, which will certainly help our mainstream media image. But all kidding aside, its good to see Mike and poker spilling over into the mainstream (even if Kathy is fringe mainstream).

That's all from High on Poker's TV Correspondence Desk, where, "We'll watch crappy television, so you won't have to!"

Until next time, make mine poker

posted by Jordan @ 11:58 AM,


At 12:51 PM, Blogger Pseudo_Doctor said...

lol you just "live blogged" the Kathy griffin show....hahahha I dont know whether to laugh...or cry hahaha

At 9:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 2:08 PM, Blogger NewinNov said...

Excellent, you just saved me 29 minutes.

At 4:57 PM, Blogger bayne_s said...

I heard rumor that Mike also might be on the next season of "Dancing with the Stars".

What have you got as bet damage?


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