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Diagnose Jordan

I hit my head last night. Or, more accurately, my head hit the remote control...hard. Very hard. I'm a klutz.

Here's the setup. I'm doing whatever, probably working on an Evite for a birthday thing I set up for next week with wifey Kim. When I'm done, I head over to the couch and plop down. My couch is comfortable and was clear of debris, so I didn't think anything of putting all of my weight into my flop...until I hit my head. As it turned out, the DVD remote was balanced precariously on the top of my couch, so that it faced outward to the TV, with it's rear against the back wall. When I sat down, the remote jammed right into the base of my skull, about an inch above my spine.

My first reaction was to curse and hold the back of my head as though I were in pain. Wifey Kim asked if I was okay and after I grunted, "I'm fine," she went back to her business on the computer with narry a look back. I was doubled over, sorta cradling the back of my head trying to assess the damage. I'm used to injuring myself in all sorts of stupid ways. Usually, I just break a toe walking into a coffee table or whatnot. Regardless, when I'm injured, two things tend to happen: (1) I's my odd way of reacting to pain. I'm talking full-on madman delirium laughs here. (2) I walk it off. I just don't like going to doctors for most things. The body is an amazing thing, and from my experience, 19 times out of 20, it'll heal itself. Ever take a broken toe to the doctor? Maybe he'll splint it, but more likely he'll tell you to take it easy. Ever have a fever that resolved itself in 24 hours without antibiotics? I had an eye infection many moons ago and after debating whether to see the doctor, I finally pulled the trigger...only to be told that I had to keep my eye clean. Thanks, doc. I was planning on rubbing dog shit in my eye, but after following his advice, well, I did nothing and healed!

So, back to me holding my head. The truth was, even though I felt the hit as a hard thud, I wasn't in that much pain. I don't know if there are few nerves back there or what, but I decided that I was lucky and okay. Truthfully, if my 200 lb. frame came down with my neck a few inches higher or the remote a few inches lower, I probably could've paralyzed myself in one of those freak accidents. But that wasn't the case. I felt a bit of heat on my skull, and it was a bit sore when I tried to turn my neck, but I attributed it all to a bruise.

Today, the bump is definitely coming out, albeit in a place most people won't notice it. I can feel tightness back there on my neck and shoulders, but I attribute that once again to the swelling that accompanies bruises. Or, I strained my neck a bit by the force of the blow.

I was a little dizzy last night, but it was very minor and I attributed it more to a psychosematic reaction than to reality. Today, I just feel a bit like I'm in a head fog. It isn't serious. I just feel tired and sluggish as the day wears on. I was in a meeting with the Bossman and another attorney and found my attention span wanting, but I can't tell if that's my head or, well, the subject matter of the conference.

So, does Jordan have a concussion? And if he does have one, what the hell should he do?

I looked up concussion symptoms and I see some borderline indications that I may have been concussed. I called my primary care physician for a consult, but his receptionist told me that all he would do was sent me to the hospital, so I should just go there directly. I hate hospitals, so I did a bit more research.

Once I checked remedies, split into Home Care and Medical, I saw that I was best off toughing it out once again. Home care consisted of icing the head at the bruise/swelling point and addressing any lacerations (I had none). The medical basically said bed rest and liquids. Um, that's my usual weeknight ritual...

So, what do you think? Hospital or no?

Final thought: Last night, while hitting the head (and in this context, I'm referring to pissing), I thought of a great idea for a post. I thought about writing it down, but then reconsidered. After all, with such a great topic, I'd remember it.

Yeah, but I forgot the topic. So instead you get this post. Stupid concussion.

Until next time, make mine poker!

posted by Jordan @ 4:39 PM,


At 5:24 PM, Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

I fucking hate hospitals and all forms of medicine.

At 7:39 PM, Blogger Schaubs said...

A concussion from a tv remote??

Get well soon... no wait...


At 4:27 AM, Blogger BWoP said...

Did you black out at all? Did you feel pukey immediately after the remote attacked you? How are your pupils looking?

If you didn't black out, you weren't pukey and your pupils kinda look okay, then I'd say rest and fluids.

If you start to get dizzy again, I'd get it checked out.

(FYI, I've had four concussions. Don't ask.)

P.S. My word verification thingy was "throump." Seems fitting.

At 9:56 AM, Blogger Astin said...

Full release massage and lots of booze. I think that's the medical diagnosis. But I ain't no doctor.

Or stick some ice on that bump and rest it off.

Also, don't take any advice I give you from a medical standpoint.

At 11:55 AM, Blogger BamBam said...

Having concussed a red hot and very flexible little number, ( on 4 seperate occasions no less! ) during some very steamy and intense........ Oh sorry, enough about me ! Let's get back to your issues.

Your 'tells' should be along the lines of nausea, dizziness and definately have the wifey check out your pupils. Frequently during several of my "mild" concussions and always during the worst ones, one pupil was fully dialated, while the other tended to remain somewhat normal.


At 12:36 PM, Blogger GrayCalx said...

Be careful with WedMD. You go on there to see if you have a concussion and when you're done you've convinced yourself you have the plague and some rare form of meningitis.

At 2:29 PM, Blogger CarmenSinCity said...

I hope you are feeling better!


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