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Poker Seder

The Seder plate is a Herbrew tradition during passover, consisting of six different items meant to symbolize different things. Passover is a holiday commemorating Moses' freeing the Jews from the Pharaoh's tyrannical rule, but it also celebrates the beginning of Spring. I thought I'd take a moment to reflect on the seder plate's six items, and translate them to poker, because, well, I can. And don't expect the Hebrew symbolism to match up with the poker symbolism. Cause, that, my friends is just too much work!

Item #1- The Bitter Herbs- In traditional Herbrew lore, the bitter herbs represent the bitterness of slavey. In poker, it represents the bitterness of the grind, where ABC poker rules the day, and we are left as mindless zombies, toiling away. It is a hard life but it allows us the freedom to build the bankroll to a place where we can play higher variance games with freedom. In fact, it reminds me of the Limit Challenge I partook with DNasty. From that challenge, I finally broke $250 and $300 with my bankroll. I learned a lot and gained a lot from the experience. And when I was done, I was free. Free to play what my heart desired.

Item #2- Parsely Dipped in Salt Water- The parsley represents spring (I think) and the saltwater, the sweat and tears shed by the Jews while building the pyramids (notice how, post pyramids, construction work is rarely done by Jews, even though we own and control a hell of a lot of other industries). In poker, the saltwater also represents tears, tears of bubbled opportunities. We can all recall times that we have worked hard, only to suffer defeat. The worst feeling is immediately afterward, when we feel the shock and emptiness of loss, the harshness of toiling away the hours just to make it to the cash, only to lose right before that pot of gold. The salt water reminds us that we must accept this reality and remember it, and by remembering it, we will come to terms with that pain and work harder to be above it in the future. GCox, this one is for you.

Item #3- Charoset- Charoset, a mix of chopped nuts, fruit and slices, is to remind us of the mortar used by the Jews when building the pyramids. In poker, they are the fundamentals, the building blocks to a good player. They are hard work and determination. They are analysis and self-improvement. They are knowing pot odds and pressure points. These key elements are the building blocks that we all need to develop our inner temple of poker. For blogger comparisons, I take a bit of Wonka mixed with some DoubleAs. Both players exhibit in their blogs the fundamentals of poker and beyond, solid foundations, and the ability to work hard at improving their games.

Item #4- The Shank Bone- The shank bone (lamb bone) represents the sacrifices made by the Jews. It is not to be eaten (hell its only a bone) or touched. In many ways, the poker equivalent is ZeeJustin and that other guy. Here were fellow poker players, sacrificed to the masses because of their sins. We have all sinned and we have all cheated, I am sure. Now, ZeeJustin and the other (JJProdigy?), well, they brought it upon themselves. But they are a reminder. A reminder that we are not just gamblers with no honor. We are a band of poker players. There may be no honor amongst theives, but we poker players believe in honor amongst players.

Item #5- The Hard-Boiled Egg- According to some, the egg represents mourning for the fallen temple. To others, it represents the cycle of life and rebirth from spring. For mourning, let us mourn the loss of the Poker Champ, who, although fictional, brought us all together in a temple of shock and humor. For rebirth, let's go with TripJax, who's depleted bankroll is going through rebirth with his recent freeroll cash and other successes. In the end, no matter how poorly we are doing (no Trip though, he had to withdraw from his online account for other reasons), there is always a rebirth available to all of us at the poker table.

The Sixth is really at issue. It's pretty much some more bitter herbs, so we'll skip it. Don't know if this post did much for you. Maybe you learned something about god-aweful Hebrew cuisine (its not all this sorta crap, and this is mostly all for symbolic purposes). Maybe you got some insight into how I feel about the struggle of poker. But above all, remember this: this is no mere coincidence. After all, the Jews are the people who came up with Dreydel as a kids game...a game that is, for all intents and purposes, the equivalent of a slot machine. Booya! Amen!

posted by Jordan @ 3:03 PM,


At 4:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I guess I have to say it again.

You are the man!

Good post, J.


At 5:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Come on, let's all give JJProdigy a break. I commend his grandmother for getting to the final table and letting JJ finish it off!

At 5:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haha! Yeah. I got a recent comment on my old post re: ZeeJustin. The guy was balling out bloggers for ragging on ZeeJustin. The commentor's argument was, didn't we ever do anything illegal or immoral? As well as, some of you bloggers write worse things than what Zee Justin did. I don't get that shit at all, especially since my opinion of the situation is vera se la vi. I mean, those cheaters are douchebags, but that is part of life. We all do stupid shit. So JJ and ZJ, I don't blame you for being human. But you are still going to be sacrificed at the altar of poker.

At 11:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We had best friends who would invite us over for Passover (wife was Jewish, made the husband celebrate everything). My big takeaway: being Jewish is pretty tough, horrible food to get through the Seder. Always had to go get pizza after leaving. My eldest did try to kill our dog and smear blood on the door, which I fortunately stopped him from doing. Nice post.

At 9:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, Hebrew cuisine often lacks, but that is why you see Jews eating a lot of Chinese and Italian food. Yeah for outsourcing.

At 11:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


OK, you know I'm devout, but this is my best Jewish joke (from my Jewish Tulane roommate from my hometown--he was a DJ at the small Mississippi town AM radio, and once a guy called him and said, "I knew a Jewish man once, and he was a good guy. I couldn't figure that out.") Anyways, his family owned one of the teen girls/women's clothing stores in town. He told me when they closed on Christmas Eve each year, they would hold hands and sing, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus."

Have a good weekend.

At 8:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

el fichas poker juega no quer?is nunca antes. el PokerChamps ha ido mucho mejor en los a?os pasados. El mejor ejemplo para esto es baraja poker, los mejores tablas del poker reparten un alojamiento nunca.

At 3:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Los partidos de Poker En Linea incre?bles, con el m?s grande alguna vez Cartas de poker habitaciones del mundo entero, y los personal de tablas del poker m?s profesionales. �Poker de ases nunca desea antes!


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